Growing in Generosity

Generosity sounds simple until it costs you something real like space, time, comfort, or control. We sit down as John and Lynn from Half Century Hangout to talk about what generosity looks like when it moves past “being nice” and becomes a way of living. We start with a core tension that shapes almost every decision: an abundance mindset versus a scarcity mindset. When we believe there is enough, we open our hands. When we feel scarcity, we hold tighter, even when our hearts want to give.

From there we get practical. We share how our basement became a place of shelter for multiple people over the years, including teachers who needed a soft landing and a student teacher facing the very real financial strain of unpaid training. We talk about why hospitality is more than providing a room, how welcoming someone into meals and family rhythms changes everything, and what we learned about generosity through mentoring and simply listening. If you care about community, relationships, and service, these stories make generosity feel doable and grounded.

We also get honest about boundaries. Marriage adds a layer when one person is quick to say yes to volunteering and the other is more reserved. We unpack the push and pull, the importance of not volunteering each other, and how to choose giving that strengthens your relationship instead of draining it. We close with advice for young people on building generosity so receiving help does not feel foreign, plus Lynn’s favorite way to give a gift: explain the why, then remind them it is theirs to keep or pass along.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:24

All right, half century hangout. We are gonna talk about generosity today. It's a great topic. It is a great topic. I I love uh generosity. Um and we each my opinion, we each have a different level of generosity. And the way I look at things, uh we are looking at the world in two different ways. If if we are looking at the world like there's abundance, like we have an abundance of things, we are a I am a little more generous, and I try to look at the world in that way. If we look at the world like we only have a certain amount of things and and we're scarce, there's a lot of scarcity, we want to we tend to hang on to things and not give those gifts away to other people. And so um that's the way I look at generosity, and I I I love being a generous person. However, I do think there are different levels of generosity, and we'll talk about that today. So uh, Lynn, what do you think about generosity?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

I think generosity just affords people an opportunity to show their heart and show their love for others. It it's such a giving act to be generous, whether it's with your time or your gifts or your talents, your resources, whatever the case may be. And um we need generosity in our world today.

Opening Our Home As Shelter

SPEAKER_01 2:08

We do. As polarized as our world is, we need people to be generous and be um generous in listening to others too and learning from others. So that's that's one way we can be generous. What what are some ways that you think we can be generous? You talked about time, uh gifts, talents, um our resources. What what uh what do you mean by some of those things?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Well, I'll give an example in our family situation of generosity and resources. Um we live in a home where our basement can sort of double as what feels like an apartment. And um over time we have had the opportunity to bring others into our home for a place for them to live and to spend time. Um so there's there's been some ups and downs with that level of generosity and some family growth for us as well within those within those situations. But that's one of the first things that comes to mind when we talk about our family and maybe something generous that we've done together.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yeah, and and um, you know, it's been if if I recall, there's three and probably you could say four people that have lived in our basement over time. And um so the first one that I recall, we had a and for whatever reason, isn't this most of them were teachers? Teachers, isn't that crazy? Yep. We're both in education, and both of them were teachers that stayed with us. So we had uh a teacher who you hired, actually, and um she was looking for a place here in in the city, and we um she needed a place to stay for a little while, so we opened our house and and had that little time with with a uh with that person.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

We did. Her husband was in the military at the time, and he wasn't um coming to this area for a while, and I think finances were a bit of a struggle for them. So she wanted to accept the position, you know, at school, and she wanted to live in this area. Her husband would be coming soon with his transfer. And um I just think there was just sort of a whole lot of reasons that came together for for my heart to open up to her and just say, I feel like you're in a situation where you just need someone to provide you a little bit of assistance for a time when you're struggling. So yeah, we brought her into our home and um she stayed here for for a short time. And uh not only was it her, but she also um had um a pet, a dog that she brought with her.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Um so that was a little bit-labberdoodle, I think, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah, I think so. It was a big dog. Big dog. And that was something new for us. We are um a family that has never really had a big dog or a dog we've had a small dog. Not a small dog, but not a big dog. Not a big dog. Um so that was there were some challenges and some just differences in in that situation with um what she brought. So um my heart and your heart, I think we're in a beautiful place to provide her a place to give shelter, right? To yeah, yeah. It's like a work of mercy to you to provide shelter for someone that that is in need. So that was our first experience, I think, with looking at the resource of our home and the space that maybe we didn't have to use for us that we could allow someone else to to partake in.

Hosting A Student Teacher

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Right, right. Um then we had a young lady who was student teaching, and as some of you may know, and we'll enlighten you a little bit, but the student teaching used to be that you didn't get paid to student teach, so she came from out of the area and and came to the area, and we um knew through a uh your sister, I think it was, and some friends of your sister wanted us to well, wanted them to have the yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

So my sister um shared with me that their friends who were going to bring the student teacher into their home were happy to do it. They were ready to welcome her, but her placement of where she would be teaching was significantly far from that location. And as you mentioned a minute ago, when you're not getting paid for student teaching and it's difficult to hold a job when you're you know learning the ropes of that and planning and all of that.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

And and working a full-time job, not getting paid.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Absolutely. It was uh a stressor for her financially to drive to get herself to and from the school that she was assigned to. So my sister called us and said, You are super close to the school that she'll be teaching at, and wondered if we would consider opening our home to her during those months of student teaching. So we opened our home again to another teacher, which was beautiful. And this experience was, I feel even better than the first one. Um she she was younger than the first teacher that stayed here, and it really felt like we were mentoring her in the profession and really able to focus on just encouraging her when things were difficult, or encouraging her when she felt like things were falling into place. And it was just a really beautiful opportunity for us to give our time and our knowledge and our experience to someone that was soaking it up, that wanted to hear about it and wanted to learn from it. So I'm grateful for that opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah, and I I remember having those conversations and having her come and just listening to what her day was like, and and I think both of us at that time were uh I think maybe I was teaching at that time too. And so we'd we'd been administrators and and been principals of uh schools, but we could we could offer that advice and that that growth. And I think that at time in our life was a good good way to be generous with our knowledge too. And it felt good to to be able to do that and be able to mentor a a young person and in the profession that that we love and we enjoy education.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

So exciting to know she's you know teaching now and married and has a little girl, and it's just it's beautiful to see how much her life has changed since that time when she was here. But it was a blessing to us to be able to get to know her and to have that opportunity to be generous to her.

Mentoring Our Daughter With Care

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Well, and and being generous, you do get to know people, which is a lot of that building relationships that we we love to do. So really a neat thing. And and uh, you know, the the third one that we opened our home to, um, our daughter moved out and then moved back in, and she is a teacher as well. Isn't that amazing? Three teachers in our basement.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

There's something with that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

There must be. And I feel like we have been able to also mentor our daughter in the education profession and and give her some help in when she is discouraged a little bit or even encouraged a little bit and and help her through those times of joy and sorrow and and um give her some advice to become a better teacher. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 10:39

I agree. I think the opportunity to be able to be impactful to our daughter uh during this younger adult years of her life is really a gift for both of us. And the the generosity piece, I think, is just the giving of time and knowledge and experience when she wants to hear it. You know, you have to be careful as parents that you're not overstepping and offering advice all of the time. But we have really found, I think, in our family a good balance of knowing when is a good time to share and to give that those those tidbits generously and when is a good time for you know her to figure it out on her own a little bit more. So I love that we have that opportunity to to share and to be generous with her in that way as well.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Yeah. Well, and and I think that's an important thing to remember when you're sharing your your knowledge with people. Sometimes, and I had to grow in this, sometimes it's better just to listen and to let people talk to you rather than say, Well, this is what I would do, and keep thinking through this is what I would do. Sometimes you just gotta listen.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

A beautiful example of generosity is listening. And sometimes that's all someone needs is your time and your attention.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah, yeah. And it I think we've done that with with our daughter, and um, she's been it's been great to have her back in the house and and have her in the uh maybe you call it the family business. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

What do you think? The family fold, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, sure. Well, family business is education, right? I mean, we've we've been in education for a while, and now she's getting into it. That's awesome.

Welcoming A Friend In Grief

SPEAKER_00 12:36

So the fourth one to come into our home, we have one left to was not a teacher. Was not a teacher, no. So we stepped out of that comfort zone.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah, we did. Maybe that was, yeah. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

I think it's a great example of um maybe uh our daughter trying to be yeah, showing generosity in the way that it has been modeled to her over time. Um, she came to us and said she had a friend who um was in sort of a difficult difficult situation. Her father had just passed away, and she was living with her sisters at the time, and her sisters were planning on moving to Lincoln, and she uh didn't want to move. And she has, you know, she had a job here, she was established here in this area, and she didn't think that she could afford to live on her own. And so, you know, our daughter came to us and said, Would you consider allowing her to move into the basement with me and share the space down here? And you know, we we had a good conversation about it and um we gave it we gave it a try and and we invited her into our home as well. So that was the fourth um Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Time to open our house up and and uh you know I think that that is uh being pretty generous with um opening where you live and and creating because to me it it's not just a house, it's a it's a home. And that's what we want to bring people into our home and bring people into our family and have them be a part of our family.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Who we are. Yeah. It's not just the place or the space. It wasn't as if for any of those examples that you know we gave them basement space and they just came and went. We we we really worked on welcoming them and having them be a part of our family gatherings and a part of meal time together and and all of those things. It wasn't just a space to be, but it was being a part of our family for the time that they were here.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

And you know, when I think about generosity, I think that's a big part of who we are. We love to have people over. We love to have gatherings with people. And um, the more I think about what is important to me, it's getting together with people and talking with people and building those relationships um with the people that I may not know a whole lot about and getting to know those people. So kind of a neat, neat way to look at generosity. You know, being generous also, you you talked about different things, your your time, your talent, your um your resources. I I think we each have a different way of or a different level that we can offer that generosity. And maybe you have a story about um I I think you're maybe a little bit more generous with some resources than I am, and maybe you have a story about holding you back a little bit. Is there is there a story about that?

Marriage Boundaries Around Volunteering

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Well, I think when when I look at our relationship, John and I, over the years, there have been times where uh we are asked to be involved in whether it's something from church, uh teaching a class at church or um being a part of music ministry or helping with vacation Bible school or anything like that. I uh I feel as though there are times when it's maybe easier for me to say, yes, let's do this. And they're in some of those times you're a little bit more reserved. And it's just a difference between our personalities. I don't know that it's necessarily good or bad, but a difference in in our personality and and where we want to how much we want to give of our time in generosity.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I I think, and and maybe I haven't been as as good at this as you have. You've been really good at this. We we've talked about not volunteering each other for something, because that may not be what we want to be generous with in that volunteer opportunity. So we talk about making sure that we talk about what we are being generous with our gifts, our talents, our resources, and we come together as a couple to offer that generosity. And and I think that's what we've done in offering our house to people, offering that uh that opportunity to be a part of our family, and and you've been really good about making sure that you don't volunteer me for things, which is I appreciate. I don't know if I've been so good about that. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 17:47

I I think you've been good at in general. Good.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Well I thank you.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

I do think that um sometimes it's I feel it's a push and a pull sometimes. There there are times when my heart is really set on something that falls in that generosity vein, and I I want us to be a part of it. So there's a push there, and um, sometimes uh maybe a convincing conversation that might take place. Uh and sometimes I have to be accepting of the no or accepting of sometimes just feeling a little bit stifled. And I don't mean that as a criticism, but sometimes uh you're looking at it from another perspective or for another reason, and and the answer isn't always yes, what I want it to be. So there's a push and a pull in our relationship when it comes to generosity. But I think having a strong relationship and being able to talk about those things allows us to be generous in the best ways possible and to be accepting when the other person isn't at the same level that you're at.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Right. And I think that both of us grew up in a very generous household. And that helps us to be generous to other people. So my mom and dad very, very volunteered for everything, big part of the community, big part of the church. The church was the community. Um, and dad was a teacher. And I think as a teacher, you you are giving a lot too. You're giving a lot to people and being a part of that that education, that community um piece of things. And so growing up with that was really awesome. I know your parents are are volunteered for a lot of things and have been involved in a lot of things too.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

We had a very similar upbringing in that aspect of parents being involved. My mom and dad, there were so many things that they were involved in, and they I feel like they know half of Omaha because of all the things they're involved in. Um, and as children in that family, we were with them watching that, witnessing that, being a part of that because you go where your parents are at. So I've our we were raised in that way, and I really believe in my heart that that's where the fire is in my heart to be generous of my time and my gift and my talent. Because it was such such a beautiful model to see that in both of my parents equally. They they did so many things together. It was rare that mom would do something different than dad. They were in lockstep with all of the volunteering and all of the ways in which they were involved with people and giving of their time and gift and talent. So I'm grateful to have that model in my parents. And I've that's where it comes within me, is just living it every single day growing up. So it became a part of of who I am.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Yeah, and I I think that is the way we both grew up with that. You know, we talked a little bit about being able to give, but that kind of becomes a selfish thing too, because I love being able to give, but I also love the feeling that I get from being able to give my gifts and talents to others too.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

I there is a high level of joy when when I can give of myself to someone else. It I it really just is the faith model that I grew up with in my life and to to try to walk like Jesus walks on this earth and to be giving to other people. So giving of time and talent and resources, whatever the case may be, does bring me joy because we're connected. And it goes back to that relationship piece again. When you're connected with people and you have those relationships and um that factors in, it it it causes the the the cause of that is or the input of that is joy.

Advice For Building Generosity

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Yeah, yeah. Um we are really talking about influence people and and having people grow. So what advice might you give to a young person on Building that generosity. Maybe they didn't grow up in a in a household that that uh had the things that we had, but um how would you uh say, hey, build that generosity? And I I do think it's an important thing to be able to not only give of yourself, but allow people to give to you too.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

I agree. I think it's both ways. Um, I I would want our young people to to really think about being others focused and not self-centered in in their lifetime, in their in the pursuits that they have. And it it does foster greater relationships when you can be generous in them and and put others first. There will be times in their life where, like you said, they are going to be the recipient of generosity from other people. And if you've not walked the walk of being generous to others, it's very, very difficult to receive it when you need it. So um it's sort of a give and take in that point. There's going to be ups and downs. So giving and being generous allows you to be humble to receive when when times are tough, because they're going to have tough times. So that would be my advice. You know, practice generosity so that you can receive it when it comes your way, when you need it the most.

The Gift Is Yours To Share

SPEAKER_01 23:53

That's awesome advice. Tell me about um how you give gifts. I I love this part of you. So will you tell us about when you when you give a gift to somebody, what do you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 24:07

I always say that the reason for the gift, like I'll tell them why I'm giving it to them or why I picked that particular item for them, because there's usually a reason why. And then I follow it up by saying, you know, this gift is yours. You get to do with it what you want. If it brings you joy, I want you to keep it for as long as it's bringing you joy. If it brings you joy to give it to someone else and it can impact someone else's life, then that's what I want you to do with it. The gift is yours to do what you want with it. And I love saying that because it brings a smile every single time I say it, and it just opens the door for whatever is intended to happen with that beautiful gift. So I love to say that to people and I give them the opportunity to make that decision.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Well, Lynn, you give me a gift every day, and I love being your husband, and I'm so glad you're my wife. And um, I'm so glad you you agreed to be a part of the half century hangout.