Half Century Hangout
We are Half Century Hangout where different perspectives make for better discussions.! John, Luke and Chuck are three guys who grew up differently but became good friends with a lot to talk about. On this show three unique perspectives are brought to the table where we dive into everything from current events to life's big questions. We might not always see eye to eye... But that's exactly why we're here. So grab a seat and join us for honest conversation, unexpected insights, and a few friendly arguments.
Half Century Hangout
Authenticity, Passion, and Purpose: Values That Shape Our Lives
What drives your daily decisions and shapes who you become? In this soul-searching episode, we unpack how our core values form the foundation of everything from marriage commitments to career choices to leadership styles.
Chuck, Luke, and John share personal stories about values they've inherited from family and those they've developed through experience. Luke reveals how "competency" became his north star thanks to his father's influence, while Chuck describes his lifelong commitment to a 75-year marriage as a value that requires forgiveness and communication. The conversation takes a fascinating turn when we explore the difference between living your values visibly versus imposing them on others.
We discover that authentic values aren't just abstract concepts but show up in our daily rhythms, traditions, and habits. Learning emerges as a lifelong commitment—as Luke notes, "if I didn't learn something today, I wasted time." Other core values like integrity, service, passion, and authenticity become touchpoints for examining how we influence those around us and the organizations we lead.
The most comforting realization? Our relationship with our values ebbs and flows throughout life. Sometimes we lose sight of them only to rediscover their importance later. Join us for this meaningful exploration of what makes life worth living—and how to build a legacy that reflects what matters most.
Welcome back to Half Century Hangout. We're hanging out here with Chuck and Luke. How are things going this week?
Luke:Just getting ready to have a little vacay, you know, a little spring break.
John:John, do you have anything going on for spring break? For spring break, you know, I'm going to be spending a lot of time with my family and working at home. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going anywhere necessarily, but I've got a lot of appointments and you know, just just hanging out at home with with the family.
Chuck:So late 50s is maybe a little different than early 50s, so you're just waiting and stacking up those doctor's appointments. Is that what you're saying?
Luke:Yeah, I was going to mention that, like are these those appointments?
Chuck:Like I appreciate that I didn't want to know which one he was going to. Luke, you know what I've noticed something about, john. I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but when I get a little dig in, he always says thanks, he does.
John:Thanks, thanks so much. Yes, I do.
Luke:Well, you know you gotta say thanks, right, that's all.
Chuck:But yes, it's super fun, yeah definitely.
Luke:When he said appointments, I was like well, you know, yeah and just to just to tag onto that. You know I am spending time with my family there too. We're going down in my daughter and son and I'll live down there. My wife's down there already, so I'm meeting her down and I have to get a few listens of the live down there. My wife's down there already, so I'm meeting her down.
Chuck:Have to get a few listens of the podcast down there, oh yeah.
Luke:There's a few down there. I'm probably going to take a little bit of our swag with and I'm going to try to sneak it into my suitcase and give them one down there.
John:Are you going to the beach? Oh yeah, I'll be at the beach no-transcript.
Luke:I was thinking about it, but you know what, chuck, I can't live up to you in that Jeep thing. I can't do it, that's all right. I've never been able, although it was pretty cool on St Patrick's Day. You know that their insignia with the grill lines. It said beer instead of Jeep.
Chuck:It was kind of fun.
Luke:I thought it was a pretty cool shirt.
Chuck:We're doing some renovation at my house. Awesome, in our bedroom we're going to tear out a closet and put a new closet in and kind of make it a little more usable. It's just a lot of wasted space. We don't't have a huge bedroom, and so we want to utilize all the space we can in that spot, and that's what we're going to do. So my wife and I we've designed a little closet system that we're going to make and be able to make the space worth something that is awesome I will be thinking about you yes, on with the hammer in your hand as you're on the beach.
Luke:As I'm on the beach, are you?
Chuck:going to set up a signing table down there for all the fans that we have to get your autograph.
Luke:I wasn't planning on it. I feel like I'd be one of those guys sitting there, like at the table, like looking around. People would be like who's?
Chuck:this clown. I'm like I don't know. Somebody told me I should do this, so here I am.
John:And I'm volunteering on top of it. Somebody on some podcast told me to sit on the beach and get my autograph out.
Luke:Although, it is funny, I didn't till today. I've never really had this conversation. I had a conversation with some other guys and I was amazed at how many so there was, how many of us were sitting there. I was at a meeting and we had nine guys there. Nine guys there and out of the nine guys, like seven of them won't step foot in the ocean what the heck? Because they're worried about all the sharks and all these things that are in the water.
Chuck:That want to come get you. Wow, do they fly in airplanes.
Luke:They do.
Chuck:That just seems weird to me. That's interesting. They're ready to fly on an airplane and step into the ocean.
Luke:Yeah, I was kind of blown away by it. Did they swim in lake water? I don't know if we went that far. I don't know if we did or not, I don't remember.
John:You can't see the bottom Swimming pools.
Chuck:Yeah, sure, I know they do that, but I don't know I'd have to ask her.
John:yeah, so, john what are we talking about today? Today, we're diving into something that shapes our lives in profound ways our core values. All right, do you have any core values I've got a couple. All right, there you go and how those connect to our rituals, habits and our traditions, and we're also going to talk about how that might shape the culture in our organizations that we work for, that we are a part of, that we maybe lead are a part of that, we maybe lead.
Chuck:So as I'm sitting here, I'm looking at luke and I know what I'm feeling. This is definitely going to be a discussion. You got a guide oh okay, you got some good right, you got some good questions for us.
John:I'm like dude, I do have some questions that we can talk about I don't know where you were going.
Luke:There, chuck I, I'm like shit.
John:I mean.
Luke:I think that some of this probably tags back from episode one, which was our North Stars.
John:Yeah, so some of that you know is is what I stand for. How do we actually play that out in our life? How do we, how do we show people, how do we, how do we bring that forward from who we are to the next generation? Kind of what we, what we talked a little bit about last time. Let's take a look. How do you distinguish between values we generally hold versus values we think we should have?
Luke:Well, I think it depends. I truly do, and I think that part of it, as I was kind of trying to think through some stuff today as to what we were going to talk about, how we were going to talk about it, those values that you hold near and dear, whatever that is, whether they're learned, acquired, handed down to you because somebody else that was close to you did and you aspire to it, or however that works.
Luke:I think that there might be times where you maybe try to adopt or move toward another set of values based in a place whether it's your workplace, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a group of friends, whether it's whatever Whatever that is that might drive some of your values or your rhythms a different direction. Maybe not even a different direction, but just a little more focused in this direction as opposed to this direction. So I mean just kind of looking at that. I think that for me personally, I think that it's most of my values. I think it's been the opposite way of what you just said, where I think that it's driven me to go where I am now, as opposed to reacting to it, winding up somewhere and then changing my values to meet that. Does that make sense?
Chuck:I think so. I always like the particulars of conversations like this, and so when I think of you know values, and how your values or how rhythms maybe help, um, establish, yeah, establish your values is maybe the word I'm looking for. I like particulars, and so one of the things that has been my mantra for probably 32 years now I've been married for 32 years, uh, to Jen, my wife. I was wondering where the 32 years now I've been married for 32 years to Jen my wife.
Luke:I was wondering where the 32 years came from Yep, that's it.
Chuck:It was very precise, yeah, back when, like, my dad just died in September, but he told a story about his grandpa, I think, who didn't get married till he was 40 years old and he was married for over 50 years. Somewhere in my brain I don't know where it came from, but I just decided I want to be married for 75 years. My wife and I we got married at 19. And so that means we would both need to live happily ever after until we're 94, right. And so some of the that's a value for me is longevity in marriage and seeing kids, grandkids, great grandkids, maybe even great, great grandkids. Right, that's a value for me, and the way I live that out is through hopefully trying to have a successful marriage, which, to have a successful marriage, you have to do some things in order to make that.
Chuck:You know it's gotta be forgiveness. There's always work to it. There's going to be different things that you have to. You know control within yourself. You know during those rough times, but when things are great, things are great. But when things aren't great, you gotta. That's when you gotta figure out, like really, what you're kind of made of. So for me, that's kind of what I'm thinking of when I think. How do my rhythms establish my values? That would be one that I would go to. What about?
John:you guys, chuck you know you talked about. Really I think that is a tradition, you and your marriage tradition. It's kind of traditional to stay married right. Oh, absolutely. And to stay married to that same person over 75 years, that would be a long. I'd be really old.
Luke:But I'm not commenting on that. Yeah, yeah.
John:Anyway, I think what you just talked about really I know you like to say rhythms A rhythm to me is more of our day-day and how we do things, and so it could be that how you show a happy marriage or how you show that to the rest of the world and give them a good example of being married for a long time could be a daily rhythm. But it's also a tradition that you have, and I know that you don't like the word tradition, but it is a tradition. Another thing you said was family. A lot of our values come from family.
John:I'm curious, just to ask where do you think, Luke, maybe did you get some values from home growing up?
Luke:Oh yeah, without a doubt. I mean, I think one of my values has always been learning. Yeah, Like I remember I don't know who told it to me or if it just kind of came out of wherever, but there was always that little quote in my head that if I didn't learn something, told it to me, or if it just kind of came out of wherever, but there was always that little quote in my head that if I didn't learn something today, I wasted time, I didn't do something that I should have. And I think that a lot of that comes from my family, from growing up. I think my dad really kind of pushed that. My mom for sure did. I mean she used to teach me things every day you know.
Luke:So I do think that that was one and I and I think that I know this one was from my dad. You guys will laugh at this when I say it. I I guess you could call it a value, and I and I and I kind of looked it up. I'm not going to lie. I maybe cheated a little bit to make sure, but one of the things that I hold as a core value is competency.
John:Yeah, okay, and it's like you know what.
Luke:Maybe you could call it like stay in your lane, you could call it whatever you want to do, but the idea is, is that, um, for myself, and I've chosen a career path that, first of all, that I enjoyed, but something that I know that I could?
Luke:in if I know that they're struggling, or I feel it's probably more of me looking at them and going maybe they're not quite as competent as I would like them to be. Yeah, I sometimes struggle with that a little bit because I don't always want to push my values onto somebody else. It doesn't lessen the importance that I feel them personally, but I don't know that it's always right that I do that. You know you might have a value that is super important to you that isn't on my list of things, but that doesn't make it less important. You know, does that make sense?
Chuck:It, it does, and for me, as I don't know what that does for John, but for me I I feel like part of my responsibility as a human being is to help others be a better human being.
John:Absolutely.
Luke:Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're pushing your values on them. I mean you might, just because you're Chuck Like. They look at you, they listen to you, they hear you and they choose to take a better path in life.
Chuck:Yeah, and that's exactly what I mean. That's exactly where I was going with it. I'm going to leverage my influence.
Luke:Yeah, yeah Does that mean I'm pushing to leverage my influence?
Chuck:Yeah, yeah, it does. Does that mean I'm pushing it on them, or like what would you consider pushing your, your value?
Luke:Well, like you know if you're telling somebody or insinuating a certain way they should feel or a way they should be or think. Yeah, you know, I think that it's a. It's a, at least for me, and again I think that it's it's everything's personal when it comes to it. Is that you can, like we, discuss with each other about things, right? We don't always 100% agree, which is fine. But, I think that we don't necessarily shove our opinion down your throat and say, well, you're not thinking the right way.
Luke:Now now, if I said something really dumb or I was going to whatever, I would expect one of you to jump on it. We go like well, like Luke, that's stupid, but so there's a line but, I think there is a line.
Luke:But I think too that you're that, you're that your actions will help with that. I mean, people might look at it Now if they choose to be like hey, you know what John really is kind, he is a kind person and I never hear him cuss and whatever. And they choose to start doing that in their life. That's okay and if that was one of John's values, great. But he didn't push that at him, he just acted that way because that's who he is and they picked up on it and they chose to say I'd like to be like that.
John:You know what I'm saying, so I think it's just kind of different.
Luke:I mean, that's just the way I look at it.
John:And Luke and I certainly have been influenced by who I grew up with. To my dad, my mom, learning was huge in our family. Grandma was a teacher, dad's a teacher, I'm a teacher in education as well, so it it has influenced me over time. At certain times I kind of lost those core values. Does that make sense? As I was growing up, you kind of lost those core values. Does that make sense? As I was growing up. You kind of go through some things that you're maybe. You maybe lose those core values that you grew up with, that you that you want to get back to.
John:And I, as as I get older, I see myself, you know, being a lot more, um, a lot more cognizant of having those core values. And I think what you're talking about, too, with not pushing is a value. That's a value that we have. And and one of the one of the things that I try to do and I think we can discuss this a little bit too but how do we influence people? By having those values and showing those through the way that we act those values out. I'm married to my wife. I love her. I spend a lot of time with her, my wife, I love her. I spend a lot of time with her. People see us having fun together and and doing things that married people do, and so how do I influence other people? Or I think that our traditions, our rituals, our habits, our rhythms come out by showing those values to other people, and that's how we influence people.
Chuck:So can we name some values and how we live those values out personally?
Luke:Sure, how many do you?
Chuck:have Well, you mentioned a good one competence.
Luke:I put down a little list because I was just kind of going through it and in my mind and trying to. You know, for me as an old guy, it's like trying to compartmentalize my thoughts sometimes is a little difficult. Trying to compartmentalize my thoughts sometimes is a little difficult, yeah, but one of the things that I think that I would hold as a value is love. Sure, and it's not just like John you were just talking about, it's not just the fact that I love my wife and I love to spend time with her and I love to do things with her. It's not just that kind of love, but it's also loving what you do, loving all the people around you doing things that you love. I mean, there's so many different ways that you can use that. But I think that as I've gotten older, that's become more important to me, because I think there was some things earlier in my life that I did. Maybe they were hobbies, or maybe they were just in my life that I did. Maybe they were hobbies, or maybe they were just activities or things that I did that maybe I just did them because I thought I was supposed to do them, or some of my friends kind of did it, but I've I've gone away from some of those because I've realized I don't really love doing it that much. You know what I mean. So I think I've gone away from it a little. Really love doing it that much, you know what I mean. So I think I've gone away from it a little.
Luke:I think the learning, the learner part was a big one for me. Yeah, only because that was it. The other one was and I believe this is a value as well is intention Is that I've tried and I think that this one has kind of gone a little more as I've gotten older. And I think I learned it from work and from things where we make data-driven decisions. We don't just make a decision at work because we want to make a decision at work. We look at some data, we look at something and we come up with some sort of something to address that, whatever the thing is, and then look at the data and say, hey, we can affect the data this way. I try to live my life that way as well, that I don't just do something just for the heck of it to do it. I'm doing it because I'm going to go do it with my wife or I want to spend time with you guys, or I'm going to do a podcast, because we get to hang out and talk about whatever.
Luke:And I think that that's important because it kind of lends itself to living with purpose. It's intention. I'm not just flying off the whim and doing whatever, because there's a couple of uh values that I could say.
John:Integrity, I think, is one of the values that I have. I always try to do things um with integrity and and to me that means trying to do the right thing all the time, whether people are watching or not.
Chuck:Yeah, always trying to do the right thing.
John:I also think that what you're talking about to me is dancing around passion, yeah.
Chuck:Yeah, the word came to my mind.
John:Passion is a value that I have, too, is a value that I have too, and I think that being passionate about what you do, having passion for who you love, that to me, is a value that I try to live out every day.
Luke:And I think I group that under love.
John:I think that's kind of the thing. Yeah, it's a little bit of both. There's a slight, I think it's a little bit of both. There's a slight, I think.
Luke:It's a little different. Yeah, there's a slight nuance to it, but I think, in the way that I was using it, I would say, yeah, I can use that.
John:I think it has to do with passion, and I think when you approach things with passion and I don't know joy, I guess, and I don't know joy I guess would be another one of my values I approach things from a positive standpoint because I want to be joyful and I want to have passion for what I do. It's interesting, does that?
Chuck:make sense? It does. And it's interesting, john, when you talk about joy, because I think you know, I we've known, we've known each other maybe three weeks, four weeks, and that's one of the first things I noticed about you is how joyful you are as you, as you do your job. Now I got this cranky old dude that's next to me in the office and so I did see his passion.
Luke:We don't know who that is. He hears my phone calls.
Chuck:folks Might have had a little bit of passion today, but I did notice that about you and I think those values that you spoke of integrity, passion and joy I think Luke and I can say we actually see you live those things out.
Luke:Sure, and I think the other one that I have that I realize it's a value because I find it important and I know I've spoken about it before is it's service. Yeah, and I just live by it, whether that's for my friends, for my family, for people wherever, whatever it's, just I think it's important because I think that we're here it it. It takes away the narcissistic component. If you want to say yeah, it's not just about me. Yeah, I mean, you know there's a lot of other people that are sharing the same ground that I'm walking on.
Chuck:Yeah, breathing the same air I'm breathing you know, I think one of the, if I were to pick a value that I have, that I try to live out daily, is authentic authenticity. Maybe that's authenticity to where I and I I, I don't want to be that person that's fake. You know, it's hard for me to step into a role or a you know a relationship to where I'm just checking the box. I'm usually going to be all in Like. Whenever we talked about doing this podcast, it was like, guys, are we going to talk about it forever? Are we going to do it? Let's do it. And we finally did it. I even found myself saying the same words to in another situation, that we could talk about this forever, but's just, let's just get it done. So let's be authentic and stop faking. You know, whatever we're trying to do, and so I think authenticity is a big thing, which sometimes can get me into trouble.
Luke:But um, I don't think it would get you into trouble, though, because I think that, well, okay, let me, let me reel back on that one. It probably could get you into a situation where you know you ruffled somebody's feathers the wrong way or something.
Luke:But I think, in the long run, being authentic and holding that with integrity and doing it, and also having a passion for whatever it is that you're talking about is going to come out right in the end. Yeah, yeah, I think the one thing you just said that kind of hit a nerve if you didn't get that, was that it might hurt you, it might be rough. We can't live like that.
Luke:You know we have to be able to if it's something that we know, something that's right at least that we feel is right at least be strong enough to say hey, you know what I'm going to talk about this, but I'm still going to keep an open mind, just in case. Yeah. You know what I mean, which is kind of what we do here Absolutely, and you know what I thought of when you said authentic.
John:and I see this in you you're a truth teller. Oh, you tell the truth and you maybe sometimes that's challenging and that might be why you think being authentic can get you in trouble, but but it's really telling the truth.
Luke:Yeah.
John:And and being authentic in how you deal with people.
Luke:So I think one of the other ones that, john, you mentioned it earlier, so I'm just going to self-report here is please, did you learn something you know growing up, and did it come from family? Did it come from things? I was taught responsibility from a very young age. Okay, I sucked at it. Okay, I mean I was taught responsibility from a very young age. Okay, I sucked at it. Okay, I mean I was not the most responsible kid growing up.
Luke:Okay, even into my early years of, you know, adulthood, adulthood there was a lot of things that I would not put up on the whiteboard under the category of responsibility. Yeah, I would not put up on the whiteboard under the category of responsibility. And I think that, even though it was still in the back of my mind that I wanted to be and I wanted to live that way and be that way, it took a little while to get there. So I think that that value, even though I knew I couldn't quite grasp it with both hands and give it a big hug, it was there and I think having the right people in your life helps with it. Yeah, absolutely, you know, you surround yourself with people and, like you know, for instance, I met my wife and that helped me a great deal with that because it it solidifies the importance of what it is that you're doing and it helps you get there.
Luke:And I still struggle with it at times but it's like you know, I can tell that I've made progress toward it 100%, but I think that's one. Like John you said, I learned it growing up and my family was around it and you know many would say that, especially when we were youngsters, my sister, who's six years older than I am, was much more responsible than I was. And yes, sarah, I did just say that I think that it's one of those things that values as they go, you know, you said, I think you said you lost sight of them, you know sometimes over the years, I think you do, but they come back.
Luke:I don't think they really ever go away.
Chuck:The picture that came to my mind. You talked about going to the ocean. The picture that came to my mind was, you know, the ebb and flow of the tide. Sometimes we're more driven by our values than we are at other times.
John:What came to my mind was you grow with grace, with the grace of others, letting you grow into those values.
Luke:They're there.
John:They're given to you and you may lose sight of them over time, but you grow into those values through the grace of others.
Luke:And I think one of the things that and it just kind of came into my head again, because sometimes, again, my thoughts are a little all over the place but when you were talking about are we? Are we pushing our values on to somebody else, right, don't take this the wrong way, but you, you have a different viewpoint of it because you're also a preacher. It's kind of a preacher's job, yeah.
John:Right but.
Luke:I remember very, very vividly growing up in the Lutheran church and I went to church all the time and all through high school and college. I mean a lot, a lot, a lot. And I distinctly remember the difference between the preachers who stuck on the Old Testament and the guys that were in the New Testament, because it was two different things. You know, you had the fire and brimstone of the Old Testament. You know, boom, boom, boom, boom, right, but yet you had the saving message of the New Testament. That's like hey, come on in, we're here. You know what I mean. So that's kind of what I look and what I think of when I think of pushing something onto someone. It's not necessarily always a bad thing, especially if somebody needs to hear it. Sure, because there was times in my life where it's like Luke what are?
Luke:you doing. Yeah, like you need to change this. Yeah, you know, in a hurry. Yeah, like you need to change this, you know, in a hurry, and I don't know that I'm always a real good person to do that to somebody else, because I feel kind of badly about it sometimes. But I think there's times that I have.
John:But I just don't think that.
Luke:You know, it's not always a comfort zone for me.
John:We might be coming to the end of this values talk and might be moving on to something else next episode but uh, what? What do you think, chuck?
Chuck:Yeah, I think we're probably uh talked this one out and I'm sure we'll revisit it at times, but I'm super stoked that we got the opportunity to actually express some values and then some of the different rhythms or traditions in our lives that we have looked to and look from to establish those.
John:Very good. Well, hey, thanks for hanging out with us here at Half Century Hangout. I know Luke has a quote for us.
Luke:Yes, Abraham Lincoln oh awesome, even though we're you know, Go ahead. Abraham Lincoln.
John:That's okay, abraham Lincoln, he was a great guy, he was sorry, uh, abraham lincoln, oh awesome even though we're oh yeah, you know, I know, I know I'm waiting, that's okay.
Chuck:He was a great guy.
Luke:He was sorry. In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. I like that and I think that directly talks to the values and how you live your life, what you do with the time that you have here you know, because again that time it's kind of like you were saying you know you want to do 75 years of marriage.
Luke:I mean, it's not just about sitting there and staring at the wall for 75 years, it's what you do with it, how you do it and how you go those 75 years and what you make of them, how you live out those values Exactly.
John:Hey, thanks for hanging out with us here at Half Century Hangout. We appreciate you listening to us. Make sure that you follow us on your favorite podcast apps and check us out on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok.
Chuck:Instagram.
John:Oh man.
Luke:All those things that I have no idea about.
John:We've got Chuck, isn't it? That's right, hey. Thanks again for hanging out with us today. Peace out, peace out, be good.
