Half Century Hangout
We are Half Century Hangout where different perspectives make for better discussions.! John, Luke and Chuck are three guys who grew up differently but became good friends with a lot to talk about. On this show three unique perspectives are brought to the table where we dive into everything from current events to life's big questions. We might not always see eye to eye... But that's exactly why we're here. So grab a seat and join us for honest conversation, unexpected insights, and a few friendly arguments.
Half Century Hangout
Are Your Friends Healing You or Hurting You & the Online Connection
During this reflective episode, we explore the difference between relationships that satisfy us versus those that introduce more stress into our lives. Looking back at our own journeys, we can often identify periods where we weren't thriving and connect them directly to who we were—or weren't—spending time with.
We dig into what makes a friendship transformative rather than merely transactional. Are your friends "takers" or "givers"? Do they provide a safe space where you can process thoughts without judgment? The most valuable connections are those that challenge us to grow while offering genuine support and understanding.
As digital natives in an analog world, we question whether online relationships can provide the depth and stability that in-person friendships offer. While social media creates connections, they often lack the foundation necessary for lasting impact—like two wires loosely wrapped with electrical tape rather than properly soldered together.
Welcome back to the Half Century Hangout.
Speaker 2:You know, all I got to say is a grown man watching a bunch of other grown men in tights running. It's called the NFL Combine and I love it. It was a great weekend to watch A 4-8-4 offensive line 40. Absolutely amazing, not to mention all the rest of it that goes with it. His vertical, his everything, his wingspan break at the hips. You know Good old Donovan Edwards from Michigan, best running back, bench presser of the running backs how many?
Speaker 3:did, he do?
Speaker 2:25, I believe he was.
Speaker 1:Broke a record. Yeah, what weight do they have on those 225. 225. Man, I would hate to have a. What did you say? 4'8"?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 380 pounds running at me he's 335 pounds I think he is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got a story about getting knocked over by a center as I was officiating, but we'll do that another time.
Speaker 2:That wasn't at a Kern game, was it? No, it wasn't.
Speaker 3:It might have been a coach as far as I remember, IKM Manning.
Speaker 2:it might have been a coach as far as I remember, I can't get manning. Yeah, okay, gotcha. Oh, that's hilarious. I mean, it's been one of those. You know, we had a snow day in there. We had some blizzard stuff going on here in our area, which was kind of funny, because now you look out, it's just mud now, right.
Speaker 1:But it's a spring, spring, snow right yeah, it's gone the next day.
Speaker 2:That's the way it is in march yep yeah, I was actually kind of surprised, because I really didn't think that it was going to snow that much. I was super surprised too, my son was over, we had, out of all things, tater tot casserole he wanted, which was hilarious, and he wanted to eat some. So we were. And we were just kind of hanging around and watching the world's best dunks on YouTube and looked outside and like, oh, it did start snowing, yeah, and there was a little snow.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, my wife got home, probably right around 545, six o'clock, something like that, and it was just spitting a little bit of ice. Next thing we look, you know, look outside, and it's there it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, it was, it was something, but it was pretty icy yesterday when we went in. I had to go into work, so it was a little icy outside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that rain that fell before the snow man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that got it.
Speaker 1:And the snow was heavy. That's a spring snow.
Speaker 2:I actually lucked out and I should probably give him a little shout out. I don't think he listens to the podcast, but maybe he will. My next door neighbor shoveled my driveway. Oh, that's nice he came over and did it. I shouldn't say he's a kid, I mean he's 22, I think.
Speaker 1:But he's a kid to me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I came home and I was ready to do it last night because I didn't do it before. I went to work yesterday and came back and it was all mostly dried up because I got the south facing driveway and it's like hey what? Happened facing driveway and it's like hey, what?
Speaker 3:happened. He's probably going to send you a bill, though.
Speaker 2:Oh, I doubt it. Check's in the mail buddy.
Speaker 1:Check's in the mail. That's all I know. Did it out of being generous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a good guy.
Speaker 1:You know, it kind of leads into what we've been talking about friendship and what people do for other people. You know, we've got this digital world and it's isolating a lot of people. It's tough. Yeah, our former Surgeon General he's kind of emerged as a voice talking about the health benefits of our human connections. His critical component of our overall mental and physical health is not merely a social luxury but, beyond providing emotional support, we've got meaningful friendships that can actually serve as a form of preventative medicine. Can you believe that? No Preventative medicine? No way. Can you believe that? No Preventative medicine? No way. So we're going to talk a little bit about how friendships might reduce stress, boost immune function and maybe extend even our life expectancy. What do you think, luke?
Speaker 2:Hold on, let me take a drink. I think.
Speaker 1:I don't know if that will extend your life expectancy. I think it will.
Speaker 2:I think that it's interesting that you know we mentioned the digital world and here we are doing a podcast which is kind of funny but I think that it's interesting enough to know that, looking back at our lives, as we do all the time, you do see and you can tell at least I can. I don't want to speak for everybody here, but you can tell the times in your life, maybe that you weren't 100%, maybe you just weren't yourself, or you weren't where you wanted to be, whatever it was, and we could probably tie some of that back to either A, who it was that you were hanging around with, or B, who you weren't hanging around with you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And I think that, that is kind of the way that I approached it when we started thinking about this and we're putting the show together, is that I can look at it that way and I can tell, yeah, you know, there was a time where I was probably hanging around the people that weren't great for me, if that makes sense. Yeah, you know there was a time where I was probably hanging around the people that weren't great for me. If that makes sense, yeah, sure, but you know, now, as we sit here, I'm like, hey, I'm surrounded by the people that I need to be, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I agree. I think there's this mindset that just having friends is going to make your life better. But I think it's actually how do those friends impact you? So if you have friends that impact you negatively, then it's going to have kind of a negative, it's going to put more stress in your life, and none of us need that. But I think what we're looking for are connections or friendships or relationships that actually satisfy you. And if you have those types of friendships the more types of friendships that you have that are like that in your life, that actually satisfy you or fill a scratch and itch is the way I would say it then I think your life is going to be more fulfilling. Think your life is going to be more fulfilling? Yeah, and it's going to be. You know you're going to experience probably a little more health, or you're going to experience, you know, your mental part, that part of your life, your mental health, is going to be better.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But when you start having those relationships, or if you have too many of those relationships in your life that are kind of a strain, that start, you know, introducing stress into your life, that kind of hurts your, your, your mental health kind of cause it has an impact on your mental health and a negative, negative aspect. But yeah, that's kind of my thoughts on it.
Speaker 1:No, I was listening to another podcast and they were talking about takers and givers.
Speaker 2:You ever?
Speaker 1:had any friends that maybe you could say they're takers and friends. Oh sure, I think we know those people Are givers, and how would you know the difference between those two? What do you think?
Speaker 2:Well, I think one of the things when you think of it that way is that you know, as a friend I mean we talked about this a little bit last week when we were talking about friendship and I've always looked at it as to what could I offer somebody, what could I help them with, what can I give them. I think, in some way, one way or another, we're all getting something from the relationship. I mean we could call ourselves a taker if we wanted to be, but the idea is, is there a balance right? Am I giving and taking right? Or am I just in this for me and I'm just grabbing, you know, and doing whatever? And I think that we could probably all identify somebody in our lives past, present, you know whatever that we could have fall into that category.
Speaker 2:But I think that in our world, like the three of us that are in, we see this with kids all the time, and that's one of the things that I try to talk with kids about. I'm like you call this person your best friend. You got some work to do here, because this person is, like you said, john, being a taker here. Because this person is, like you said, john, being a taker, they're using you for something. They're not really offering you anything healthy or beneficial for you. For you it's more of like it's the thought of having friends, like you said, is that we look at those things and we're like, yeah well, we've got lots of friends. But when it comes down to it at our age here at the Half Century Hangout, it's like we've got it figured out now because we know, right, we have people in our lives that we could call friends, like they're there, but we know when the rubber hits the road.
Speaker 1:who do we know what's going on? Who it is?
Speaker 2:And I think that's what growth is about know what's going on, you know who it is, yeah, and I think that's what growth is about. And I think that when we're younger we don't always know because we just we don't know, we don't really know. And you said too something chuck there that was interesting was do we always know what we even want or need?
Speaker 2:we don't, because when we're younger we don't really know no, you just think, oh, we got friends, it's cool, you know, I got people to hang out with whatever. You don't really know what you even need or want from that friendship or that connection.
Speaker 3:You don't really understand that yeah, but I think of what it means to have friends and like that satisfaction that we get in those relationships, or whether or not that relationship introduces more stress into my life. I'm'm just thinking about, like what are like, is it a safe spot? It is a. Is it a safe place to where I can share something that may be a little bit edgy, or maybe I'm a verbal processor, right, and so if I'm trying to work my way through something mentally and I I state it verbally and it makes like zero sense, I want to make sure that the people I'm hanging with aren't going to judge me because I'm, I might actually change my mind by the time I'm done with the conversation. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:yeah.
Speaker 3:So I had a high relationship with these people, some good friends, jen and I, my wife, when we were growing up. Our kids were young, all of our kids were young. That hung out in this friend group and I said something that was a bit edgy in that around that table, but it was received really well and they helped me work through that thing and could see my perspective, even though it wasn't necessarily a popular perspective. They could see it and they didn't judge me for it because it wasn't what most people would think would come out of my mouth. And yet it was a safe space to be able to process that and kind of come to a conclusion. And by the time we were done with that conversation it was completely different.
Speaker 2:I got stuck there for a second.
Speaker 1:You sounded like a millennial or a Gen Z there for a second Safe space.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh, my Psychologically safe, yeah, I hear you All that right, yeah, yeah, I hear you, though.
Speaker 1:They're supporting and helping me to formulate my ideas a little bit better, and I think that's what you were talking about. A little bit is the support that a friend can give you.
Speaker 3:And it's not necessarily even affirming in the conversation. It doesn't have to be affirming Like. You don't have to say, oh, I agree with you, but you have to say, oh, maybe I understand a little bit. Explain to me a little bit more, chuck, what you're, where you're coming from.
Speaker 1:I appreciate those types of relationships, and maybe it's even a little bit of a challenge right. Yeah, I mean those friends that can challenge you to be a better person. Yeah, then, what you're coming into, that friendship with?
Speaker 2:That's why I love you guys. What'd you, what'd?
Speaker 1:you say today what did you?
Speaker 2:say today Thank you, I did over the radio today. I told you guys, thanks for being my friends. I had kids over there bullying me on the side. I was getting hurt. No, I think that the biggest thing that I take from it really is thinking back and I know we're going to touch on this a little bit later, but thinking back of friends that I've had, friends that I have now and the way that I see my life going at this age that I'm at now. Right is that it's like night and day.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Of what I thought then, what's transpired between then and now, what I feel now and what I think I feel that's going to happen, moving forward. And I think that one of the things that I know we've talked about I don't want to jump the gun too much, but it's almost looking at and talking about people that you have in your life, whether it's right now or whether it was somebody in the past, that you don't see very often or talk to very often. It's kind of funny to talk with those people if you haven't for a while, and then you're like huh it's interesting I never realized that about that person before.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, because now, you're looking at it deeper, you're looking at it from a different perspective, like for me, it's kind of funny because I moved right and I moved a little further West. I'm still in the Midwest, but I'm in a different area of the.
Speaker 2:Midwest and it's a little bit different, you know, and people are well wherever you go, people are different, right, on different levels, not that it's bad or good or otherwise. It's just the idea that you learn from the people that you're around. Yeah, and I like to always make sure that I'm learning from them, not just pushing my agenda. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So how do you cut those people out of your life? That sounds like a really wrong way to say it, but people who are introducing stress into your life, they're causing like your mental health is going down and I'll be honest, I probably cause stress in people's life Like I'm probably that guy at some point. I think we all do. Okay.
Speaker 2:At some point everybody does, so where?
Speaker 3:do you?
Speaker 1:draw the line then Like how do you get? How do you say you know what? I'm done we aren't going to be friends anymore.
Speaker 3:We aren't going to be friends anymore.
Speaker 2:It's been way too many times. I don't think I've ever said that yeah, but I think I mean I probably thought it.
Speaker 1:Planned ignoring. Is that what you do? Yeah, I mean kind of. I mean I think that you say I'm not answering the phone anymore. It's kind of like an Irish goodbye, right what's an Irish goodbye.
Speaker 3:What's an Irish?
Speaker 2:goodbye. You know that's an Irish goodbye. I've never heard that. I've never heard that I'm like.
Speaker 3:St Patrick's Day is coming, folks, it's one of my favorite.
Speaker 2:There's not a lick of Irish in me, but I love it. Anyway, we're going to touch on that one next week sometime. But that's the thing is that I don't know that I would just say to those people, hey, we're not going to be friends anymore, or whatever. It's more of like a you just kind of let it go, you just kind of and I think, that people, especially and again when you were younger.
Speaker 2:It's one thing, and now we see it with kids all the time. Right, how many times do kids? Oh, we were friends yesterday and now all of a sudden she's talking shit, it's like Are you friends? Yeah, I hear you no, but yeah, okay, it's literally so for us it's like you know, okay, so I'm not going to call John anymore at 10 o'clock at night, when I think it's eight, 30. All right.
Speaker 2:It's, it's, it's one of those things where you, you kind of just you pick and choose. For me personally I'm just talking about myself at the moment is that I would pick and choose who I would talk with or hang with or be a part of their life in certain situations, just based on life and how it's going.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. That is a part of how we cultivate those friendships. We can either cultivate the friendship and and help it become more transformational for both of us.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:Or we can let the field go to seed and let it all go to wildflowers and just not not mess with it.
Speaker 2:And I think that part of that is is for me personally is that I've had some situations in my life where I've had those people where I'm like, all right, I'm kind of done with them you know what I mean, like I'm not severing the idea. It's just like if they're smart enough, they're picking up on it, right, that I'm not around or I'm not talking with them or I'm not messing, whatever it is, whatever it is. But those people have reached out like maybe six months later, or a year later, and they're in a spot, who do you?
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say no right I'm gonna help them.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So so for me it's more of a thing. Is is. For me it's the uh, I I'm trying to think of it like in a computer sense. It's like cookies. Are your cache right Like am I caching all the cookies in?
Speaker 3:Am I getting rid of them? You said cache. Am I clearing that?
Speaker 1:out. Is it supposed to be cache? Yeah, it's cache.
Speaker 2:That's all right.
Speaker 1:That's my dog's name too.
Speaker 2:But my thing is that I look at it and I'm like am I clearing all that out, or am I just kind of keeping it in the back and putting it in another file?
Speaker 2:until later, Because you know, let's face it. I mean for myself. It's like there might be times where I'd be like I need another voice to this. You know and it might be somebody in my past that I was like you know what that dude Not ever, you know, no, but that guy over there I could probably call him and he'd he'd help me out. I think he would know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. I think the people around me help dictate that choice. So if you've created that distance and an individual wants to come back into your life and my wife is like ah, you know what, I think you are better off if you keep that distance between you right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Then I'm going to listen to her People who I value their relationship. I'm going to listen to them in that particular situation.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like friends calling you back or calling you later. Do you say yes, do you even go beyond and and start to to cultivate that? Do you set a date and say, hey, let's go for lunch and?
Speaker 2:sure, I think one of the things and this is kind of hitting on the edge of it a little bit, I don't want to jump too far into it, but I think the interesting part is is if you have separated a little bit from a group or from some people and then you're in a situation, wherever it is and those people are there, you figure it out in a hurry because you remember and you're like huh yeah, like I haven't seen this person in a while, or I haven't talked to this person in a while.
Speaker 2:Now I remember why. You know what I mean, sure.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:I just kind of file that stuff, Like I don't. That's just the way that I've always kind of dealt with it. But then it's like you see them or you talk with them briefly or you, oh hey, how's it going? I haven't seen you in 100 years, you know, whatever it is, I think that it's one of those things where you it kind of comes back and you're like, oh, now I remember why. I remember why.
Speaker 3:You know it doesn't take long.
Speaker 2:But when you've been around for a while, like we have, you know the old dog remembers the tricks. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:That's for sure.
Speaker 2:It's the way it goes.
Speaker 1:What do you guys think? With everyone on our phones, with social media, how do you guys think real friendships are different from just having a bunch of online connections and those social media connections? How is that different and what? Makes a friendship, something that actually helps you feel good and supported. I know we've been talking about that.
Speaker 2:I think that that's a little bit generational, because I don't think that well, I don't have anybody, at least in my life, that I would say is an online friend.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 2:I don't have anybody like that. You know what I'm saying. I was thinking the same thing I don't have anybody like that. Now I will say in the back of that I have friends that right now that live somewhere else, that my main communication with them might be, but you were physical friends before that, but I was already friends with them. It's not like I'm going and looking. If anything, I probably have enemies if anything.
Speaker 2:But, it's like I think that it's one of those deals where just even that word to me, an online friend or connection doesn't mean anything. It's a very shallow, very whatever it is. Now I'm not saying and I could delve into this some other time Now I'm not saying and I could delve into this some other time you could meet somebody through that connection, but you're not really making the connection until you actually meet Right Physically, in person. You're talking with them, you hang out with them, you figure out. You know. It's not like I'm sharing my deepest feelings with somebody online who I don't even know who they are.
Speaker 3:But there are people that do. Oh, I know, there are people who have these online connections and they like get deep and intimate, you know, through text.
Speaker 1:And you start thinking about social media. Do those two words go, social media?
Speaker 2:Well, they do, and only for the fact that, really, when it first came out, social media was the idea to build bigger groups. That's kind of what the idea was, which it does. I mean, let's be real. If you got a post of something from somewhere and it's got a million likes, okay, there's a gigantic group of people. Do all those people know each other? No, do 10 of them, Maybe, and even then they don't know each other. They don't know what it is. It's kind of like you go on YouTube I'm just using the other night as the example I go on YouTube and we're finding here's the best 10 dunks of 2025.
Speaker 2:Like my son's an NBA guy, so we're watching it and it's 10 different guys like different videos. Well, they all have a different opinion as to what the best dunks of the year were. Right, half of them. I'm like this guy is ridiculous. Why would you even? But you look in, 500,000 people watched his video. You know what I mean. So it's like the connections are soft, though they're not real. Yeah, it's like it's like. It's like it's like taking two wires right, this is the way I think. Yeah, it's taking two wires and doing the twisting and put some tape on it. It's not solder, it's not connectors right, it's nothing, it's. It's a piece of two little things of copper with a piece of electrical tape around it that you could pull apart like that sure.
Speaker 3:So it's, I it's. I think what I'm hearing you say is that it is a connection, it's just not. It doesn't have a whole lot of stability. Yeah, I mean it's really what?
Speaker 2:what am I going to do if I, you know, if I'm making a friend online that who knows, whatever it is, and my truck breaks down on the road?
Speaker 3:oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna message this guy message they'll come help me out the interesting thing though I live in utah when you talk about connections like there are people who connect with us on this podcast. Just because we are who we are and our podcast is getting out there, more people are listening to it and there are people, I think, who are connecting with it, um, and even though it may not be like the strongest connection, it still means, means something to them, because they are and we want those people to reach out to us, though. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Because the thing about it is is that it's a two way street, right, it's. It's. If you're finding something that we're saying which is good and you're connecting with it, we want to do the same to you and we want you to say, hey, hey, you guys should talk about this because, whatever and I think that that's important because, again, like I just think of it as an old guy like how can the connections if it's only ever been online or electronically or in that world. How can they be that strong?
Speaker 3:sure, I just don't the difference. From an online social media perspective, when we're talking those types of connections, the difference difference is connection versus engagement right. Yeah, so I think people can engage really well online, whether it's through Zoom or FaceTime or whatever like face-to-face type of Because they're wearing their underwear.
Speaker 1:Media they have.
Speaker 2:Hopefully they're sitting at a thing and wearing their underwear and they got something on you know.
Speaker 3:I mean, but it's different.
Speaker 2:You know, it's like you look at it. I mean we always called it like the keyboard warriors, right? Like, oh, you're real strong behind the keyboard, nobody knows, and you're talking all kinds Like the kids say that and people say that all the time. Right, oh, you're talking behind the keyboard. You're really tough, you know, right? Well, it could be whoever. We don't know who it is, we have no idea who it is. They could say anything they want, and who are we to say you're lying? You know what I mean? It's just a different world to me and it's hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I just don't want to discount the value. I think there's a value for certain people making those connections and engagements online. I think there are people that can take advantage of those things. Yes, absolutely, I would agree with you, but I think there is a lot of help to be, a lot of relational value that can be found online. There can be, I would agree.
Speaker 2:And I wish, I guess in a perfect world, that it wasn't that way. But I understand it Personally myself. I don't think that, it's just not me but I'm not going to say that it shouldn't happen to you, whoever you are right, Because you're going to do you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You talked about the connection. People can make connections in different ways. It's that relationship, and how do you build that into a transformation rather than a transaction?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think those were the words that you were looking for last time. Transactional versus transformational Right right. We each have been involved in relationships that have been simply transactional. Well you do for me and I'll do for you. But the real friendships that last long times, they're transformational, they change us as we continue to walk with each other through life.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You know that might be a good thing to end on, and next time we'll talk a little bit more about friendship and talk about maybe how our past colors our friendship as we move forward. Half Century Hangout we appreciate all the people.
Speaker 2:I have a quote.
Speaker 1:Oh, we got to get a quote in.
Speaker 3:I forgot about that Before we get there. Can I just mention the wine glasses, oh yeah, yeah, the whiskey glasses, the wine glasses.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whiskey and beer mugs, right.
Speaker 3:We've got whiskey and beer mugs. We've got beer mugs and whiskey glasses that we've just gotten in today and they've got our logo on them. And here's what we want to do. We want to share these with the people that listen to the half century hangout, and here's how we want to do that. If you would share our next episode that we post on facebook, instagram, tiktok or twitter, if you would share those, your name will go into a pot and we will give away three of these different wine glass or, I'm sorry, whiskey glasses and beer mugs. So if you want a beer mug, if you want a whiskey glass, share our podcast as soon as it comes out on social media, tell someone about it and we will make sure that you get into that.
Speaker 2:And they're great. They're etched glass dishwasher safe dishwasher safe, high quality. My dishwasher will be happy to hear that.
Speaker 3:She'll be happy to hear that we'll post a picture of them on on facebook sounds great, sounds great so the quote that I have.
Speaker 2:Memories with the right people will always remain priceless. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Which I know that the author of this one was unknown. It's just been one that's been passed down for years, but I know that a couple of our next episodes we're going to go into some things that we'll touch on with that.
Speaker 1:I just kind of wanted to put the drop in that bucket and move on. Well, thanks again for hanging out with us here at Half Century Hangout, and we'll see you next time on the podcast Peace out.
