Half Century Hangout

Through Thick & Thin: What does it mean to be a friend?

• John, Luke & Chuck • Season 1 • Episode 6

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In this engaging episode of Half Century Hangout, we explore the intrinsic value of friendships and how they shape our mental and physical health. From emotional support to shared experiences, friendships are at the core of who we are, but as adults, we often find ourselves reconsidering what truly defines a friend. 

Join us as we investigate statistics suggesting that proximity is crucial to forming lasting connections. Can you believe it takes about 50 hours to become casual friends and 90 hours to start calling someone a true friend? Together, we reflect on today’s challenging landscape for building friendships, especially in the age of social media, and what that means for our connections. 

As we navigate through personal anecdotes, listener feedback, and contemporary issues, we emphasize how maintaining a rich social life can significantly improve our overall well-being. This episode encourages meaningful discussions, providing insights into the complexities of friendship in today's fast-paced world. We invite you to share your experiences and thoughts with us as we keep our conversation alive. Be sure to like, subscribe, and leave a review as we continue to delve into the delights and challenges of growing friendships.

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Luke:

Welcome to the Half Century Hangout. Everybody good today? Yeah, absolutely. It's a beautiful day outside. Weather's changing a little bit. Today we are going to be talking about friendships, the importance of them, how proximity plays a role in them and their role on our mental and physical health. Let's go. But before we dive into that, half Century Hangout has a few things we'd like to celebrate.

Chuck:

Yeah, we do so. You guys, I don't know if you've been on Facebook or not, but we have a brand new logo. We got some feedback from our listeners on Facebook and they overwhelmingly enjoyed number one. They thought that would pass the eye test for them. So I want to give a shout out, and thanks to Logan at Creative Cub Designs. He came up with that for us and gave us some options on what to choose, and so be sure to check out our brand new logo. We're going to have some merch over the next few weeks. It's going to be available with that, and we'll give you guys ways to get free merch, so be on the lookout for that.

Luke:

Just know that with the merch, if anybody, if I see out and about somewhere wearing something that has our design on it that's there our logo I am going to purchase that person a beverage of their choice.

Chuck:

You got that right. I will too.

John:

The show's been doing good, John it has yeah, we have over uh 300 almost 340 downloads at this point we've got people listening to us and you know what chuck I I? I think we're learning a lot about each other. Yeah, like like we say you probably agree, we, we listen, yeah, we learn and change our minds sometimes right, right, yep, absolutely.

Chuck:

And I like to see on our little analytics tab that we have on Buzzsprout that our number one city is Omaha.

John:

Omaha. You'd kind of expect that, right, yep. That's a great place to be.

Chuck:

Council Bluffs is number two, kansas City is coming in at a close number three. Wow, like they're competing with CB, which is interesting. And then you have Chicago and Dayton, dayton, ohio, the Flyers, and who's from Dayton? That would be yours truly, chuck.

John:

Kaiser.

Chuck:

That's awesome, so we're tied for who's the Chicago connection? I think that's probably you. There's a few, just so we're tied for who's the Chicago connection? I think that's probably you, isn't it yeah?

John:

there's a few.

Luke:

Hey, just so that we have listeners. I know that are in Omaha, but I just wanted to make it clear that this past week, even though it was an ugly game, Michigan did beat the University of Nebraska in basketball. It was an ugly game, but you know what We'll take the dub leave town with the W on our way to, hopefully, a Big Ten basketball championship.

John:

And where is Michigan? I mean what rank are?

Luke:

they. They were 15 the other day, so I don't know if that's changed.

Chuck:

But it was an ugly game. Where's Nebraska?

Luke:

Oh, they're not ranked.

Chuck:

They're not. No, it was an ugly game.

John:

They're like mid-pack.

Luke:

We were there we uh took, took sun and a lot of the game had a good time so it was fun awesome, that's good awesome.

Chuck:

So we just kind of want to thank everyone that's been listening, been contributing to the content that they have uh been commenting on on facebook and their other social media. So we just appreciate you guys listening because, uh, the fun of this is to kind of have the discussion after we have the discussion, so we appreciate all that. Guys, you got some shout outs.

John:

Absolutely, I'd like to make a shout out to Amy and Andy, who are listening from Omaha our number one city.

Luke:

I thought that was Grammy and Grandy.

John:

Well, it depends on whether you get a visit from the carolers. It could be it could be.

Luke:

I just wanted to shout out to Eric Justin and Victoria Hesperia, michigan. That's my little kickback up north.

John:

I love that.

Luke:

Hesperia, Michigan, Great people great place, just a great place to kick back and relax. We have a few drinks up there once in a while.

John:

Is that?

Luke:

upper Michigan. It's in the lower peninsula, but in the upper half of the lower peninsula, just North of the rifle hunting line, just nice Good times.

Chuck:

Yeah, and I want to shout out to Kyle from Omaha he gave some great feedback on the participate, participation trophy discussion. I'm sure we're going to probably come back to that discussion at some point. And then Ryan from trainer uh, he had some encouragement to as older generations that he actually mentioned on the Facebook posts that we, uh, that we put up. So, um, we appreciate the thanks, you guys Appreciate it.

Chuck:

Yep, awesome, yeah, and if you want to hear your feedback, yeah, and if you want to, uh, get a shout out, shout out and find us, go ahead and find us on social media and we'll be sure to give you a shout out. We're on Facebook, instagram, tiktok. We are also on Twitter.

John:

Wow X X.

Chuck:

X. Yeah, bad habit, I know.

John:

Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to break that habit.

Chuck:

And I know, sometimes what happens is people commit to shows. It's happened to me I've committed to a show and I watch it and I follow it or listen to it, and all of a sudden they end Right and it's like, where did those guys go? Well, we just wanted to mention to our listeners that we have a commitment to do at least 26 episodes, but at this rate, the rate that we're recording these episodes, we'll probably double that.

Luke:

You mean like before we end. Or like in our lifetime, like I, don't know. What's our shelf life?

Chuck:

I think we're committed to this for about a year anyways.

Luke:

Oh, I'd be surprised if it didn't last longer.

Chuck:

Yeah, I would hope it would as well, but we're committed to, at least you know, 26, probably at this point, 52 episodes. They seem to be coming out weekly. We originally planned on doing them twice a month, but I think we're doing weekly now.

John:

I think weekly's good.

Luke:

Yeah, yeah, it's not like we don't have anything to talk about you.

Chuck:

guys are committing to us, so we're going to commit to you. Absolutely 100% Appreciate it.

John:

Luke never has anything to talk about, nah Ha.

Chuck:

Only always. Only always, only always.

Luke:

John, what are we going to talk about today?

John:

We're going to talk about friendship and maybe we could segue into that and talk about a little bit about the friendships that you've had throughout your lifetime and how they impacted you, do, you guys remember this song?

Luke:

I do, it's Houdini, it's Houdini.

Chuck:

Yes, Circa what 1983?

Luke:

Somewhere around there. You know, since we were talking about Friends today, I thought it was appropriate just to bring a little in. You know, I mean why not?

Chuck:

You know, the problem with that song is it's got like a five-minute intro. I know it does. Should I fast forward a little bit? Oh, I don't know.

Luke:

Oh, there it goes. We're going to have to wait until the first. You know when it says friends, right?

Chuck:

Yeah.

Luke:

I think so. It's almost there. So, in the whole matter of friends, I mean, how did this come up?

Chuck:

As I was thinking about what shows we could be talking about, I heard a little snippet of a TikTok influencer, and she was talking about the importance of proximity in relationship to friendships, and so as I began to kind of chew on that, I think I sent it to you guys there were a few stats that she kind of shared that I thought were pretty helpful. Actually and this is what she said she said the single most important factor to determine friendships is proximity.

John:

And what do you mean by being with somebody?

Chuck:

Yeah, how often do you see one another? Yeah, right, yeah. How often do you see one another? Yeah, right, yeah. How often do you see one another? And I can relate in my relationships, the friendships I've had over the years, that the intimacy of the friendship I mean. You know what I mean by intimacy, right? How well you know the person.

John:

Yeah, I understand, that's what you're talking about.

Chuck:

And the level of it's not just how well you know, but the level of connection to where you can say I am connecting emotionally with this person. We're kind of on the same sheet of music, we have the same vision whatever about life, that those types of relationships are built by being with each other. And the stats that she gave was from the University of Kansas. I know that our friend over here, luke, kind of doubts these stats because he has something issue with uk, but she said it takes 50. The study says it takes 50 hours of time to become casual friends 50 hours a week or.

Chuck:

Just 50 hours 50 hours. Yeah, 50 hours we don't have, okay, yeah, so I mean, before you become a casual friend of someone you spend about 50 hours together, 50 hours with them.

John:

Gotcha yeah, gotcha yeah.

Chuck:

And then it says it takes 90 hours of time to consider someone a friend. So before I would call you my friend, luke, according to this study we'd have to spend 90 hours together. Over the last five years, I think we probably spent more than 90 hours.

Luke:

I would agree. Yeah, what's the last one you got? You got one more.

Chuck:

Yep, it takes about 200 hours to consider someone a close friend.

Luke:

So this is where I'm going to go with this, all right.

Chuck:

All right, let's go.

Luke:

I think and I did read through your stats and I was just giving you crap before about the.

Luke:

UK. But the thing that we talked about this before, when we were talking about participation trophies I think we could do a little bit of an age thing with this as well, Because as kids or kids today they could become friends with someone a lot faster than 50 hours. In other words, they're hanging out, they live in the same neighborhood, they're there chilling, they go out, they play soccer for three hours and their mom says where have you been? I was playing with my friends, Like they're talking about it.

Luke:

Now that might not be on the same level that we would call each other friends. It's not that deep that it's there. But I think what this research is talking about, a lot of it is obviously for adults, not necessarily for kids. But I think some of the numbers have been skewed a bit because of COVID and I think things changed a little bit.

Luke:

The idea that the proximity to people was gone for a while right, because there was all you know, people were in their own areas and not interacting with each other nearly as much as they had been before, like personally. So I think that it's kind of skewed a little bit because of that. But maybe it's just because me personally I can look at somebody and you know if I met with somebody and say, hey, you know, I consider them a friend, or I don't know that I delineate it that much that somebody's a good friend or they're a close friend, or I mean I always tell kids, you know, you can only really have one best friend, right, I mean it's kind of in the word right, I mean they say they got 10 best friends it.

Luke:

Well, I don't know if you can really date it, because it doesn't make it a best friend. Then right.

Chuck:

It waters down the tunnel, yeah.

Luke:

You know. So I think I mean I understand what the person's saying. I mean, like I get it, but the numbers seem a little bit high to me, at least personally for me, that it would take that much time to do it. I mean I get what the person's saying, that obviously proximity would help for sure.

Luke:

It's not like if it's just online. If I meet somebody and I'm talking to them on the phone, it's probably not gonna be the same thing. But why is that in person such a big deal? Because you pick up body language. You pick up all sorts of non-verbal cues. You pick up a lot of things that you normally wouldn't see. You know does. Does 50 hours of time together include, like if you were on facetime, like on a screen, or does it have to be like live?

Chuck:

you know what I'm saying. I don't know that I would spend a whole lot of time with anybody on facetime if we hadn't already reached that 200 hour mark probably.

John:

Right, right. So you're probably saying that to continue that friendship. After you've spent that time with people, like during COVID, you may have continued some friendships without the personal interaction. It might have been over the phone, it might have been FaceTime whatever it is, but you cultivated or continued that friendship that you already had established right.

Chuck:

I don't think you guys are saying this, but I didn't make any new friends during COVID.

John:

Wow, that was dead meat silence.

Luke:

It was, but I don't think I was just ready for you to say that, which it's not bad, but I don't think that. I don't know. I guess maybe here at my age I don't know that I'm making a whole lot of new friends. You know what I mean.

Chuck:

It's like where's my?

Luke:

so I have my circle of friends right, my group of people that I hang her out, that I choose to hang out with. Do I go out somewhere? Do I need to find more friends? I don't know. I got plenty.

John:

You know what I?

Luke:

mean, it's not like it's something that I don't want to say, that it was just because of COVID that I didn't make any new friends, because it wasn't because of that, it's just for the fact that I'm not really looking you know what I mean.

John:

Does that make sense?

Luke:

Well, but I hear what you're saying, that you weren't out and about and you weren't meeting people.

John:

So you chance, if you're saying it and if you think of these, these numbers, you think about life. So we kind of throw kids into a place where they are spending time with people. Right, sure they're. They have schools that they go to, they have neighborhoods that they belong to. Maybe belong to a church or what, what have you? But they have a built-in time that they spend with friends, that they get to know but of course right in that, especially with that for adults as well.

Luke:

And and just be sure that, just because you spend time together doesn't mean you're going to be friends either.

John:

Right as we grow, though as we grow, we go to college. We have a different set of friends. As we grow, we get in the workforce, we go to work and we get a different set of friends.

Luke:

I think the other part of it, I think that's what you're talking about.

John:

is the?

Luke:

other part of it for me, like you're saying, john, I think that as you grow older but also in maturity and different things, and you start to kind of figure out who you are as a person, right, like you actually know what your goals and what your everything is. Yeah, who you are as a person, right, like you actually know what your goals and what your everything is. The other part that I see that I'm adding to John's thing is that people that I also have that were family members, okay, like maybe cousins or some other people, maybe as kids or even as young adults. I didn't view those people as friends. They were family. You know it's different Now as I I'm older.

Luke:

I consider them now friends as well, not just my cousins or not, you know, whatever. It's a little bit different. So, yeah, part of that I think with the friendship thing and part of why I was struggling a little bit when we first started talking about this, is that the friends thing, I feel like depending on the person, it can change, not just in how much time it is or anything like that, but also what you define as a friend. That's the thing, because your definition of a friend might be different than what mine is, but I think for some people and we see it a lot with kids what do they need to get out of a friend, like it's kind of a what have you done for me lately, kind?

John:

of thing, chuck, you said something a while ago and I remember this there are transactional friends, and what was the other word you used?

Chuck:

I can't remember, and what was the other word you used.

John:

I can't remember when you talked about your young man that you're working with. You said we can be transactional with where it's a back and forth and you do this for me, I do this for you.

John:

Or you can have a friendship that builds a deeper friendship, and I think that's what you're talking about when you're talking about the time you spend with people. When you're talking about the time you spend with people, you get to know people a little bit more and you start to trust people and you start to be able to tell them a little bit more of the truth than you used to be able to right. I mean you don't hide yourself from those people. That's a next level friendship there.

Chuck:

When you can get to some of those things where you know you're giving and receiving correction, or giving and receiving, you know, life advice or whatever. That's a that's the next level of friendship. So you asked a question, I think Luke about or made a comment about you know friendship, what? What do you consider a friend? How would you define friendship?

Luke:

I don't know that I have a real direct answer to that, but what I do see is that that friend part is super important in our lives, right? I mean in everybody's, whether they want to say they're a loner or they're a hermit or you know whatever, there's still people in their life one way or the other that they're friends with it might have been from a long time ago, they might be an old curmudgeon that lives in the woods, but the idea is they still have friends.

Luke:

But they might not need as much from their friends as somebody else does. They don't need to talk to them five times a day or once a day or whatever. They might be fine with once a month. They might be fine with the occasional text or the occasional Facebook post or something, especially if you don't live near them. Right, right. But I think for me, friends are just people that obviously I'm close to on some level, whatever that level is. But it's about being able to know that friends are there, that they know they could come to me for anything anytime, that hey, I'm here for you, no matter what. You can call me in the middle of the night and figure it out. There's people that call me in the middle of the night sometimes.

Luke:

I wouldn't know anyone who called me. No, john doesn't know anything about that, but it's one of those things where there's people and then there's people. You know what I mean. Right like there's your thing and I, and for me personally, at my age of where I'm at in my life right now, that's what to me. It means more of that. These are people that know me well enough, are comfortable enough with me, and they have been for a long time and they know that I'm there for them and I I, you know I feel the same way about them that they're there for me if I need somebody, you know, but I tend to. I'm a little stubborn sometimes, and so I probably would try to do something a hundred times before I'd ask somebody else for help.

John:

Yeah, because.

Luke:

I'm just kind of that way sometimes, sure, like it's great, it's just kind of the way I am, yeah, but I'd like to think that my friends, my close friends, anybody that we call each other friends, would be able to call me and say, hey, can you come help me with this? Or I need something or whatever it is, and I'd be happy to.

John:

And Luke, that goes the other way too. You know, you said it's hard for you to ask for help, but we have to ask for help too. Yeah, we do, and hopefully that's something that you feel comfortable doing.

Chuck:

How would you define a friend?

John:

John Boy, I do look at the time I spend with people. I think Luke is right in. You're able to rely on those people, you're able to ask those people for help and those good friends are able to talk to you and be honest with you.

Chuck:

And.

John:

I think it is for me, a lot of trust that gets built, and I don't think that trust gets built unless you do spend time with people, right? So I guess that's that's what I consider. Friends is, uh, someone I spend time with yeah someone I can trust and someone I can tell them anything and they're they're honest with me and can tell me anything what?

Chuck:

What about you, chuck? First of all, I think these hours that she's talking about is kind of looking back. Right, you can say, oh, that person's been probably just by the disruption in your normal rhythms of life that there's something wrong. When they know the look on your face, when they see a difference in your actions or your demeanor or your personality changes, I think a close friend is going to say, alright, something is going on with Chuck, you know so. They know you probably in ways better than you know yourself.

Luke:

I think one of the things that I keep coming back to in my head is people at work. I spend a lot of time with people at work, right, depending on where you work and how you know, if you work full time, that 50 hours is a week or two, right, you're there, yeah, but I don't know that every person that I work with I would call them a friend, right, you know, and I don't know that, and I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it's like there are people that we would say we're going to move that to the next level. You know what I mean Like to be friends or we're okay with just maintaining our workplace. We're friendly. Exactly, we're not necessarily friends, but we're friendly.

Luke:

I think that that's where the line gets drawn sometimes, that people think, well, if you're not my friend, you're an enemy. Well, no, that doesn't. I mean there's a lot of people that live that way, but it's like that's not the case at all. I mean somebody that I see at the store who I've not spent at least 50 hours with. You're friendly with them. That doesn't mean they're your friend, right, you're friendly with them, you're a nice person, you're kind, you know whatever it is, and I think that we in the, in the field that we work in, are able to try to emulate that to kids as much as we can, because a lot of kids struggle with that.

Luke:

you know, they struggle with this idea that all that person, they looked at me sideways or whatever.

Chuck:

Yeah, and I think that's an emotional maturity issue too.

Luke:

You're right.

John:

You're right 100% Kids are trying to figure out who they can trust.

Luke:

Why do so many adults do it?

Chuck:

Well, I mean again, it's probably emotional maturity for an adult, because they're not beyond that right we are not beyond that For sure.

Luke:

Not beyond that, right, we are not beyond that for sure. I think that, um, you know there's been so much talk about a lot of these things where I think, to be honest with you when I know we've talked about it just a little bit but social media itself for those like you just used the word maybe they're emotionally immature or they haven't quite developed I think that social media has ruined that and slowed it down way too much for the development of the kids, because you can see the kids, the difference in the kids who get outside and play in groups compared to the kids that you never see outside. Like there's kids in my street that I never see outside, except when I see them walking home from school or getting off the bus. I never see them outside ever again. We see kids every day that tell me you know, like we were out of school for what?

Luke:

Four days or whatever it was, last week. Hey, what'd you do? Nothing. My parents told me I couldn't leave the house, or I couldn't do this or I couldn't do that. It's like what I mean and it's sad because those abilities to make those connections with other kids tend to then just go into your phone and you know as well as I do, unless you have a sarcastic font or something else that I don't know about. You could be saying something where, if I say it to you in person, you know if I'm being real or not.

Chuck:

That's a great idea a sarcastic font.

Luke:

Oh, I thought about that. In the 80s we talked about it. We needed a font Because we were talking about mood rings back then.

John:

And it was one of those things.

Luke:

It's like I need a font on a phone. When phones first came out, I'm like I need a font or something, or something in the phone that picks up what my mood is, and it's like a mood ring and if it comes through in red, watch out or whatever.

John:

Because I watch out, you know, or?

Luke:

whatever, because I think that it's it's it's just. It's one of those things where our kids don't I shouldn't say our kids, I mean they're everybody's kids, but it there's so many of them that they don't have those connections. I mean 50 hours on Facebook or on TikTok or on Snapchat is not the same thing no it's so superficial and it's so just based in nothing yeah it's.

John:

It's not real so and, and you're talking a lot about communication- yeah right and and that friends communicate yeah and friends spend time together communicating face to face. Yeah, that's what happens with friends, right?

Chuck:

well it's, you're right. And one of the things when, as we get back to like this proximity question, that kind of made me buy into this uh, is I think the three of us have benefited from proximity because I I've known you, for you've been our ad. For what?

Chuck:

four years, three years, three years, three years and I've known you a little bit before that, um, but I really didn't, you weren't my friend, I mean, if no, I wouldn't probably even talk to you if we passed each other in iv, you know, oh, there's. There's luke peterson yeah but now I would, I would stop well, sure, we chat right yeah and john, I don't suck, I'm going in the other aisle, that's most people.

Chuck:

But uh, john, I didn't know you at all. But I think the I don't know 20 or 30 times that we see each other in the hallways around this place talking for 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes about different things, sometimes work, sometimes not have kind of bonded the friendship that we've built well and I and I think Luke is absolutely right when he says there are certain people that you do spend that time with at work.

John:

And there are certain people that you're professional with, you're friendly to, but you aren't going to sit and have a huge conversation with them because they aren't your friend, but I don't know that.

Chuck:

this my point is I don't know that this would have happened if we didn't have proximity.

John:

You mean the podcast? This relationship, oh yeah, which has led into the podcast.

Chuck:

Well, yeah, Probably I think that's the thing.

Luke:

Is that like, okay, we're just going to use the work example, because that's what we're talking about. If we wouldn't have, like john just said, in a different way, is that if there's somebody at work who I'm friendly with, right I'm professional with them right I speak with them, we have meetings, we talk about whatever it is.

Luke:

If I don't, or they don't, take the next step, which is, hey, we should go get a drink sometime, or I'm having a party at my house, you should come, or whatever. Hey, you want to go out for dinner? Yeah, if we don't take those steps and do that because we want to get to know this person more. And I'm not talking about, like, dating and stuff, it's just. I'm just talking about relationship, relationship with a person to to do it, friendship.

Luke:

Maybe you would maybe you would, but then you know, if you don't feel it.

Luke:

If it's not there, it's like eh you know, but again, I'm not upset with that person or you know anything like that. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be that just because you're not my friend doesn't mean again that you're not a good person. It doesn't mean anything like that. It makes no difference. I think that it's just a thing where if you're taking it to the next level, you're taking it to the next level, and we've done this before. I mean I have where I thought maybe I was going to be friends with somebody and it just didn't turn out to be.

Luke:

And again, it doesn't mean that we don't ever talk. It's like going to a let's go into a reunion, right, or something, which we have those, I guess, since we're older, right. But you go to those things and it's like, oh, you remember somebody who you knew, who they were, but you weren't friends with them, but you still might talk to them and say how are you doing, or what's going on in your life, or you know whatever it is, but you're not on that next level where you kind of probably already know those things. But, john, do you even know what the first time that Chuck and I met was?

Luke:

I don't know, I do not, I don't know, and you know it was one of those situations where you wouldn't think that a friendship would probably blossom from the first time we met. You wouldn't think that a friendship would probably blossom from the first time we met. I happened to be a football coach and Chuck was one of the officials in a game that I was coaching and I remembered Chuck from it later, that's a tough relationship right there. And Chuck remembered me years later when we came back together and oh yeah.

John:

I remember.

Luke:

Now, if I would have known your name or remembered, I probably wouldn't have remembered that, but I I remember, you know, and but that's the thing is that I think that it's one of those deals where, yes, the proximity is there, the hours, obviously, and the time together is one thing, but I don't want to throw it away that there's a heck of a lot more than that, because it's not just the time, no, because I spend 50 hours with you, doesn't?

Luke:

mean you're going to be a friend and just because I spent what was the other one 100 I mean there's, people obviously in our lives that we've spent more than 200 hours friend, that I wouldn't call a friend oh sure, and again, that doesn't make them a bad person. It just means that that we're not friends or our life paths don't mirror each other, or whatever it is. It's just that we happen to work in the same place. Or I know them from church, or I know them from whatever.

Chuck:

Well, I'd be interested in hearing what our listeners have to say about this, Like what is your thoughts on the proximity question of friendships? Is that important? Is it not important? What's your thoughts?

Luke:

So I think, it's good to hear from them and hear what they think about it and again, this is just like a. This is one of those topics that you know could go a million different directions.

Luke:

I mean, you could go all over the place with it. And I think that in the end, I think my biggest part of it really is the idea that just because you're not friends doesn't mean you can't be friendly. And we tell kids this all the time. I mean it's like you know, kids got beef at school. Something's going on and you talk to them and I tell kids this all the time. I'm like I'm not saying you need to be friends, I'm not saying you don't at all. It's just that we have to be able to coexist in a space together and you need to be able to just thrive in your own areas in the same big area. You just need to be able to do it and figure out a way to do it. And if that means you don't ever talk again, that means you don't ever talk again, it's okay.

John:

And sometimes you got to let people be who they are right, oh yeah absolutely. I mean, that's got to be that way and they don't have to be who you want them to be right? I'm so glad you guys haven't tried to change me.

Chuck:

Yeah, for sure.

Luke:

Don't try to change me.

Chuck:

So part two of this discussion, which we probably don't have time for on this episode, is some more research oddly enough, that's been done that talks about how interaction and relationships affect our physical and emotional and mental health.

John:

It's amazing, Amazing how having good friends will help you have better mental health better physical health.

Chuck:

So amazing how?

John:

that works, isn't?

Chuck:

it it is. We'll save that for next episode. That sounds great.

John:

That sounds great. That sounds great, Luke. You got a quote for us.

Luke:

Oh, I think I could probably scare, something up.

Chuck:

Well, let's have it.

Luke:

I've got one from a fellow named John Churton Collins, who was a literary critic back in the 1900s, early 1900s. In prosperity, our friends know us. In adversity, we know our friends, dang that's good, that hits hard.

Luke:

And I think that that's kind of where, when you ask me about friendship, for me that's kind of where it's at. It's not about I've kind of always felt this way and I try to live my life this way. It's not just about what I want, but I try to live my life this way. Is that it's not just about what I want, but I want the people around me that are close to know that I can give them something, Whatever it is that they need. If I can do it, I can. If I can, I'll find somebody that can you know what.

Luke:

I mean, and I think that that's a big one, and I know that you guys have all well, not all you've both experienced that on some level, yeah, where maybe there was somebody who you thought was a friend or they thought you were a friend, you know, and things just kind of didn't work out the way that you thought. Yeah. But I thought that was a good quote for today, it's a good quote, good way to end the show, guys.

John:

Great, great way. So thanks for hanging out with us at Half Century Hangout. If you have topics for us to discuss, please leave a comment on our Facebook page, Half Century Hangout, as always. Like and subscribe to our podcast, Half Century Hangout. Have a great day, everybody. Let's go Peace out.

Chuck:

Hey guys, thanks for being my friend.

John:

All right.

People on this episode

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John

Host
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Chuck

Co-host
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Luke

Co-host